Conversations with God

[tony]

Have you ever thought about what a converstation with god would be like, I myself dont think it would be a loud deep voice from heaven, but more likely in the form of our own internal voice or thoughts! has anyone knowingly experienced doing so? It just occured too me that anytime we send out a question, it could be in the form of a prayer or just the basic need to solve a problem we are having in life, that these conversations happen all the time when we get those moments of clarity, sometimes right out of the blue days later or sometimes while meditating peacefully, that we just know the answers to those questions are right, or the solution to the life problem just comes to us and we just know that its the right thing to do without any doubt! I get a kind of energy wave feeling come over me that helps me to realize when this happens.
Has anyone else out there come to these conclusions, or do you have any other ideas on this subject?

[Rebecca Nielsen]

When I have done inward search Remote Viewing targets I feel as though I am having a conversation with the Divine Matrix of all Creation. I guess others might call this God. Being that I've worked on developing this tool of communication it seems to be the way it speaks to me when I ask. I am clear what a message from the field looks like as it is unprovoked by me, it just appears - usually in a visual representation. I am certain I could enhance other modes of intuition like auditory - where you hear a voice - as I've done this through and experiment on validating Electronic Voice Phenomina. When we did this as a Remote Viewing group we went in with a thought incubation target - this is where you ask a simple question - to get a simple answer. We chose the question "What do humans do right"? Well this isn't exactly a simple question but the purpose of doing this experiment was to get a voice to record itself on the multitude of recorders that were in the room with all the viewers. Doing this target was very exciting because I, along with 12 other viewers, heard a clear, precise, loud voice shout out. Can't say I understood what it was saying but it startled me enough to make me sit up and lift up my blind fold. So the voice felt as though it was something outside of me speaking. When the session was over and the tapes were fed through a special sound detector there were lots of anomalies of sounds on the tapes that were not from the viewers in the room. Of course an experiment of this kind must be duplicated several times to have it validated but after experiencing this I am convinced it is just a matter of practise.
Rebecca

[tony]

I asked this question on another site as well, and almost every response speaks of similar experiences that there is a clear but seperate voice from that of their own! I was trying to rationalize how a voice could be formed like this, The rational side of me says that their needs to be vocal chords, involuntary muscular responses to control these chords and air to pass over them to bring this voice to our ears. But I guess not everything can be so easily explained and understood. Sometimes a leap of faith is necessary for such things I suppose!

Thanks for sharing this Rebecca, this is great information!!

[Rebecca Nielsen]

Just an aside here. I also have taken Psychology in school and hearing voices as classified by the DSM-1V is a symptom of Schizophrenia. You can see why our conditioning and science doesn't really promote the development of such things. If you suddenly have voices speaking to you - one may be considered to have a mental health condition. So where is the line in determining this as clairaudient abilities versis dilusion? For my study of this I believe that a persons awareness and control of what and WHO they are hearing with the clear understanding that others are not hearing this as well. Grounded in the reality that you are in charge of this and can stop it when you want. Particularily if the voices are negative or suggesting you do something negative. The non-physical realm has good and bad elementals to it just like the physical realm yet it has no control over us unless we allow it. You must be very grounded when experimenting with this and aware of your core beliefs as it can be unsettling and frightening if you don't have a clear understanding of the non physical realm of existence. You must be firm to state your intention is to speak and hear from the highest source of good for all and that you will not hear or listen to anything that is not. Lots of non physical beings would love to have a chat if allowed to!
xo Rebecca

[shanti]

That is an interesting subject, but I think most of us forget to use this gift. I am actually greatful to you for posting this thought as it is a good reminder for me to bring it into consciousness.
Few years ago I was deeply in motion to awaken from the dream. I had questions and the answers come to me before I even finish the questions. My level of evolution was not capable of handling the situation, so I let it go. But now you mention it, I will bring it in to my consciousness to get guidance.
Everything is available on every holographic plate. We are part of the whole and all the information we need is within us-when we look, ask we can find. Knock and it shall be openend
Thank you
shanti.

[tony]

I am glad I could remind you of this! Actually it was a reminder for myself as well :) I am sure you have evolved to a point where you will find what you are looking for!
And I like what you said: look and we shall find, knock and the door shall be opened, I would like to add this -Seek the truth and this truth shall set us free! I really believe this to be very true, so Seek I shall!

Enjoy the journey while you continue your search!
Tony

[Apachestone]

good Q tony

i think it is a matter of hereing with spiritule ears we somtime miss certain things because we are in a hurry or stressed

its sometimes getting intune with ourselve like rebecca sugets we are spirtule creatures and i speak wirh God all the time and ask hey bigen wussup will ya show me your will and sometime its a visule langauge not audio he speaks to those whp are activly seeking him. this is the key.to hering or seeing with God

peace to you and your homes
Rick

[Realta]

Hi
My profile name is Realta - it mean the stars-
I am a writer - 3 years ago I was working on a project - the usual drivel- murder , who dunnit, bit of insest and usual non-sensical corruption thrown in for good ol commercial interest-
It was very late into the night and I was frantically under pressure-
I must have fallen asleep - I REALLY Do not know -
Prior to this I was agitated, fed-up and really angry with the lack of spiritual expression from me, my fellow man- life!!
I awoke almost 2 days later and went to my lap -top to review what I had done-
The excerpts you see are from what i FOUND - my screenplay was not there - but this was -
ITs taken me 3 years to fine tune it and to get the nerve to publish it-
So I guess its time to step out from behind the 8 ball----

Let me know what ya think - so far -
more to follow--

Under the Apple Tree




Picnic with God.

By



Cate Ni Riain

Illustrated by


Edel Cahill.














Copyright © 2008 Cate Ni Riain


All rights reserved by the author. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.


DEDICATED TO:-

THE WONDER OF YOU

Who you ever are.
















Thank you for taking the time to look at these pages.
I guarantee you, you will NEVER regret it.
This is no ordinary book.
……
I ask only one thing of you ..before you begin to read- grab a pen and paper..
Then immerse yourself.
YOU
Are
About
To be
Shocked…
In the BEST possible way.

PART 1.

PAGE 6.






















Once upon a very real day in my life, having wandered for hours and hours , all afternoon and into the evening, lost in thought, full of emotion with more than a few broken dreams at my feet, I happened upon an apple tree and sat beneath it, slumped with deep dismay.

I had been trying for decades to understand this life of mine and the whole of our world.
Finally I gave up the inner struggle and quite simply surrendered.
“There are no absolute answers” , I moaned aloud. “ I give up.”

And I really did give up. But in the silence that arose all around me – there came a voice, a soft voice and it was not my own , but it spoke and I heard it within.

“I am who am” , the voice whispered. “And I am who you are too… For we are one, you and I and your mind is my mind. We are connected- Forever.”

I was stunned , of course but the voice simply went on. There was no stopping to reflect – not just yet.

“Your mind is my mind – but my mind is ALL MINDS. My mind is time itself and the very space you inhabit. I am the Alplha and the Omega. I am this moment – always.”

I waited but nothing more was said for a time.

“This is all very cryptic,” I protested at last. I was not at all convinced, so I sat with head in hands-
“ I cannot understand,” I uttered.

The voice laughed.
“You have come for a picnic, perhaps?’
A ripe apple fell from the tree -
“When an apple is ripe , so it falls,” the voice stated.
‘You, too, are ripe and ready now. And if you listen , I will tell you precisely what you need to knowThe truth is – you are in paradise itself, dear one, and I Have listened to you for years…




Yesterday.

Dear You
I see you in the garden,
Head in hands.
Why so glum?

Why so miserable
in paradise.

I watched you as you left the garden.
You came with your wish list to whisper to the stars.
Your soul was on fire.
"THIS TIME "
You said,
"This time,
I want results".
You fell asleep.
THE stars twinkled
…
You dreamed that you were in a garden.
You dreamed that you had a wish list
You dreamed you had all the answers
You dreamed you knew
That there was a real truth
You dreamed that the answers were written across the sky
Clear for all to see.
You dreamed that you looked at the stars
You dreamed that you said, "What's the point"
You dreamed that you threw the crumpled wish list in the gutter
And left the garden, dejected.


I have here in my hand that wish list.
Awake my friend.

Wishes are ALWAYS
Granted..


Really all your wishes
add up to one ..
And here I quote you

"To make sense of this place
What is this life about?
What is
the plan?
Is there even a plan..
If so who or what is
The brains behind it all?"

You are on the most fantastic journey
And don’t even know it…

yet…

Really
One wish
Answers all of that.
YES
YES is the answer.
YES
There IS magic
YES
Money
DOES
Grow on trees
YES
There
IS
A pot of gold
Not only at the end
But
ALL along the rainbow
YES
There is
A super being
A Santa Claus
Good faery
Guardian Angel

YES YES YES!!
Think about it

How can you imagine
What CANNOT exist?
-IMAGINATION -
Is key to creation.
TO IMAGINE
Effectively,
IS
TO
CREATE
To create is to give life.

***********








The answers
ARE
WRITTEN
PLAIN
FOR
ALL
TO SEE
But
No one has told you where..


Ok here goes
....




Life is very simple
It is not complicated
Not one bit.
Trust me
I should know!!

...
I know you wonder
about YOU.

About me.

About life.


Who I am?
Who you are?
What is it all about
and
what
is going on..

There is a great deal of discussion
As to
The “meaning” of life..
People have all sorts of theories…

Life means Life

..that’s it!
I WILL EXPLAIN…

Ok so
What exactly is this
teeming fertility of everything..
called life..??

Today I will
tell you.


take the time.
Read this
...
carefully...
It is a tale of enchantment wonder and delight.


Every word is chosen.
Every word is precious
You have probably gathered by now
That my name is God
So that’s the introduction over!!
But
I want to tell you so much more..

I am
as you know,
the Creator
Of all things.

I am
IN
All things.

I am an infinite movement

A never-ending lapping on the shore

The gentlest touch

The strongest mind

The wildest winds

The softest breeze

I am Breathtaking

An overwhelming sight.

I am the loveliest fragrance

The perfect song

The Happiest laughter.


I am intelligence.

I am
Pure love

I am JOY
BLISS
LAUGHTER
FUN
ENCHANTMENT

I AM
A snowflake
A dewdrop
A daisy petal
A swan
A cloud
A grain of sand
A mountain
An ocean
A breeze
A feather..

I am ALL that you see
At it’s most perfect
All that you feel
At it’s most perfect
All that you hear
At it’s most perfect
All that you smell
At it’s most perfect
All that you taste
At it’s most perfect.

A limitless source
of Everything.

THE ULTIMATE IN EVERYTHING

Nothing exists
outside of me
And outside of me IS
Nothing.
I am silence.
I am music
I am space
Active or passive..
I am light
Shining so fast
I am invisible..

I am
Whatever I choose
Whenever I choose..


All of this you are thinking
"Well,
to be honest God,
None of that is new to me".

But it is new to you
Because up to now
This was just an idea,
a concept,
a theory..
in your head
Now I want to get real...

…..
Yes
It is true
I am your God

I am your God.
The one who makes you

But you are my God
The one who makes me

I am your God
The one who gives life to
Your good desires

You are my God
because you desire
what I give life to..

you command
And I obey
Not the other way around.

But I am here to help
One hundred percent
By inspiration..
By showing you clearly
What will
Or
Will not
Work..


Relax
and
I will explain.


You are my God
Because you
have the power to
DO as I do
The power to express me
and
The power to express
WHO
YOU
REALLY
ARE.

.
We are mirror images of each other.

But you do not
Recognize it

…
yet


Keep listening-

This gets very clear.

plus

You probably, already, have a hunch that this is true..

......


For so long now you have been seeking answers..

Questions fill your mind, sometimes,
wondering what its all about.

I've always promised that when you knock the door would open…
But when you knock
you ask
for
the strangest things.


For so long now I've watched as you miss the answers,
even tho' they are under your nose

for so long I've heard you ask..
Why god?
Why?
When those strange things happen.

And for so long now
I've heard people say
"Ah it must be gods will"
Or
It ‘s bad luck
when something goes wrong..

Believe me
It certainly is not MY will
And “luck”
Is a DEFINITE
Once you know how
To
Use
It…

NOTHING BAD IS MY WILL…

It
Is
-Strange as it may seem-
Yours.

Listen…


Everything good that you can possibly imagine
already lives
in a state of anticipation
eager for expression – life.

For physical expression of all that is-
Earth is the best place.
It is a sort of melting pot , if you like.
All the elements of attraction
Bond perfectly here
To hold matter together.
But LIFE itself
Is everywhere..

You have heard the expression live life to the full.
But that too is just a concept.
Now I am going to tell you how…
You will finally see, hear, sense and know
What seems to elude you
ABOUT YOU
ABOUT LIFE.


IN six days I made all that pleased me.
IT WAS AWESOME TO BEHOLD

All that represented Me.
It was sheer delight.
Everything was
PERFECTION
IN DETAIL.
…
Flawless.

YES,
I saw the perfect grace of the trees
The flowers
Birds and animals..

Yes ,I saw how they operated according to their
Individual make-up.
They were perfect!
but there was more..
While all of these things were radiant
They had no real challenges to the spirit
How does a spirit know its strength?
Its beauty?
Its power?
What evidence could it give?
These things of great awe and beauty
did not fully answer.
They did not fully
explain to me WHO I was or
what I was capable of -
They radiated
And reflected back an amazing beauty
And serenity.
They soothed, whispered, communed with the heavens and earth.
We spoke and loved each other.
BUT they did not test me.
And I knew there was more.

And the wind blew-
Leaves rattled…
Everything smiled
All at once.

I wondered if I could put ALL I had made
The sun, moon, stars, heavens, earth, trees, plants, animal,
minerals ,wind, rain, fire ,water,
into ONE being.

And so
I re- “thunk”!!

And a dream unfolded,
Full of magic,
Laughter,
Joy,
Love,
Abundance,
Courage,
Power,
Mystery
And
Music
All that was within me!
Suddenly
All that I had made up to this,
Fused!
Vegetable, animal, water, mineral
Stars
Everything !
And there was a GREAT stirring within me
Instantly it
CAME- TUMBLING –POURING- GUSHING OUT
and
What was gestating in me
Was finally born…


THERE YOU WERE…
BEAUTIFUL.
MAGNIFICENT!!
SMILING!!
Standing tall and erect
Your feet on the earth
Your mind in the heavens.
A glorious spirit
In human form
Basking in luminous creative substance.
And I
FELL IN LOVE with YOU

YOU
The WONDER OF YOU…

ALL ENCOMPASSING YOU.
THE ULTIMATE
MY ULTI- MATE


YOU

YOU were the culmination of everything I had done to that point..
You literally were everything put together in one..
“Now- My YOU “, I said “ here is something
“QUITE SPECTACULAR..

This has to be the ultimate
I CAN NOT IMPROVE ON THIS.
I had found the perfect code..
The perfect mode!!
It has all the beauty of the tree
Tall and strong-
The radiance of every planet-
The fragrance of every flower-
The openness of every petal
The freshness of every dew drop
The clarity of a rain drop
The might of the oceans-
And the riches of the universe..
All the colours of the rainbow
All the notes of the scale..
All the talents of the planets
All the wisdom and secrets
Of every other living thing.
One who has All my attributes
Powers
Awareness
Feelings
Desires
One who has my mind..”

Everything I had previously made
Went into you…
There was no more to do
And so I rested.


Let this one continue in creating ideas and ideals
Let this one play
Here
Forever
If this one so wishes..
Let this one
BE .
I will hand it all my laws of attraction
and
Creation
Dominion over every atom
And this one can gather them together
As it will,
To make whatEver it wills
dance for it joyfully in the heavens..’
To stoke the light of the heavenly fires
Into even more beauty…

And shining through this one
we can create
and create
and create
to the end of light…
So that we
Together can dance
Down the pathway of eternity
Back in time to
Rest once again
In our original brilliance..
Should we so desire-
As silence-
Peace-
Space-
In the heavens..
It was a dance
And we were partners
Giant Masters of the universe..
With planets ,stars, atoms
All as playthings

***********
On the seventh day
I rested.
Because
On the seventh day, it was your turn -

To create all that represented you..


It is still
the
Seventh day.
Everything was complete .


But
I’m still here waiting..

Really, So far,
you have created very little.
You can produce SO much..
Have you forgotten?


WHY?
Why so little..
You OWN everything.
I gave it ALL to YOU.


You are an ANGEL
A God.
A creator.
***
You ARE
A

Sight
To
Behold…
Remember?
Surely you remember but do not know that you know…

For
You
Are
Asleep….
You climbed into a cocoon
Curled up
And never came out.
Have you forgotten, already?


Wake up
WAKE UP!!
It is time…

YOU
Have a story to tell-
A touch to deliver-
A love to melt
the hardest hearts.
You are a glorious vision
Yes
YOU
I don’t care WHO you think you are
I don’t care if you think I could not
POSSIBLY
Mean you.
I DO.
Every cell in your body
Carries life.
Life is pure power.
As long as you breathe
It is in you
Wild
Rampant
Virile
Fertile
Yearning…

Harness it.









MIND YOUR MIND
MINE your MIND.

Now there are two ways to do this
And
For you to understand
It is essential you understand your mind…
What other species has mind?


You may see life or not,
As your greatest gift,
AS life just goes on and on.

But I beg to differ
I see Mind as your greatest gift.
Free will.
As mind determines WHAT EXACTLY you DO with life…
So why do you abuse this instrument of
Wonder?
It is the portal thro which you
can receive all information -
Or deny it.
It is the builder or the destroyer.
It is the censor
On the door of your life.

Because of free will,
You get to be God.

Mind is your treasure..
IT CAN MAKE or ‘ BRAKE ‘ you.


Just look at inspiration-
Ideas-
Creativity..

Where in the universe do they come from?
Space?
Yes!
What’s in space?
Life…
YES!
Space is far from empty..
Why would I create EMPTY space
What part of me or you, could that possibly represent??


All successes begin in imagination
My or your -
“ empty space”
and conclude in the mind.


Question- ask yourself..
How can I, God,
BE all things at one time?
SIMPLE!
I am experiencing
I am Imagining
I am Listening
I am singing
Smelling
tasting
Feeling
I am the mind holding it all -here…
Whatever is in my mind
I’m activating
And projecting…

…LIKE A CHILD BLOWING A BUBBLE…

You MUST understand your MIND
You must USE it..
Properly..
For mind decides what will or will not have Life.


And for the purposes of this chat
Lets just understand life:-
It is substance ,spirit ,energy, vital force-
ALL of these are the same.
It is the Real you –
The REAL SELF.
If we took all that has life
And ground it down to its essence
All things would simply be the same.
Dust
Energy
The Force
The Field
You – me- the stars- animals-
Everything


Picture yourself blowin’ a bubble.
You’ve done this.
What do you see?
Can you recall the sensation of blowing?
The texture of the substance?
And all those colours?

Mind is like” the bubble.”

You will agree
To make the bubble there is
a substance..
That substance attaches itself to the hollow spoon
And as breath fills it
It grows..
If disconnected from the substance
A chance light breeze can
Carry it off..
Or puff! it could simply disappear without a trace.

When you day dream
You touch of a pure
Substance
which attaches itself to your dreams..
WHEN these dreams are good
This substance pours into them..
This substance
Is the carrier
Of power .
The mover
The shaper of your dreams..!!
All things come from it
Nothing exists without it..
It sweeps
All the ingredients necessary for your dreams towards you
Like a giant tidal wave..
It sits FOREVER holding Everything
Ready and waiting for you to use.
WAITING EAGERLY FOR ACTION!!

Substance comes from the source
-ME-
and builds.
Imagine it as psychic plasma if you like..
It is everywhere-
So it can bring from any where that which it needs..
Breath is spirit
Which is blown into the bubble
Causing it to expand
Causing the dream
To become form and express itself.
Ideas are the images caught within the bubble ..

What creates those images
Thoughts..
Where do thoughts come from
That’s right your mind..
Either from imagination,
Or inspiration.

Imagination is Me listening to you-
Inspiration is you listening to me.
As we are Both Gods
Either way used properly is excellent.
However-
Do not confuse inspiration with thought
…



All is in my mind
And my mind’s eye
Is projecting it..
As I am it.
I AM
ME -
THINKING ABOUT BEING ME.
And the thought
BECOMES AN IMAGE
REFLECTING
BACK TO ME
The NATURE of
WHAT I AM THINKING..
And I experience my thoughts
My dreams.
I Gave birth to me.
And it was you..
.
I thought the world into being..
Not random thought
But precise thought..
And thus gave myself the opportunity to experience me
To “THINK” myself
Into being.

I never” thought “you away from me..

WHY would I?
You did.

But
thought can dissipate like the bubble
Once substance is disconnected from it.
Once the blowing stops.

What is a thought without a thinker
What is a thought??
Can a thought live independently of the thinker?
No…
But it can stay fixed forever..being” thunk”
Stagnant…
So take responsibility
For so rare and precious a process..
It is UNIQUE to you.











THE NATURE of THOUGHT.
..
WHAT IS THOUGHT?
Is it
A DISTURBANCE IN A FIELD OF ELECTRO MAGNETISM??
A fleeting whimsical notion?
A mechanism over which you have no control??
Is what you think reality?
is it
An active image flashing on a computer screen?
A vibration ?
Is thought visible?
Audible?
Can it be felt?
Does thought smell?
Has it a taste?

Is it a careless, random process?

[Realta]

Jolande
Thank you !!
Realta

[Realta]

With regard to " hearing' or "seeing" or "sensing"
God -
I guess God uses All representational systems and communicates through the brain ...
I sincerely believe that we are two people - the human and the Being -
the Being is that God within and without us...
As a wave is part of the ocean...
The Being part is Perfect - and we are perfect ...but the human part did not fall or err in any way other than to miss the point that We ARE perfect..
I saw you sleeping in my dream
And wished for you the best-
I prayed for gifts to give to you
I gave my very best-
I plucked the stars and placed each one
On every rising beat
A sun , a moon, a milky way
A universe, complete.
I knelt before your presence
And commanded sea and skies
Earth wind fire
To be your life allies.
I wove a silver mantle and enveloped you within
You woke and smiling radiant
You said “ let us begin…”

I crowned your head with blazing light
Your heart was cheery sun
Animals, flowers, all creatures
Loved you – every one.
I wafted reeds and mosses
As cushions for your bed
A leafy lane a babbling brook
And faeries
Round your head.
I asked the seven oceans to flow to foreign shores
On income tides return to you
With ten thousand gifts and more
I bathe your feet with clearest dew
Strew petals at each footfall
I urged the silver spider to weave for you a shawl.
I wrapped you up
In golden light
And bowed before your glow-
This one is the greatest-
You answered-
YES I KNOW!
www.undertheappletree.info

work in progress..better edition on www.lulu.com 2214512
or check out www.educomindpower.com
or www.edu-cate.ws

[Karma Yeshe]

I use finger dowsing a lot (left index finger is no, right is yes), doing it for years now. My wife used to joke around with me about it, but now she says "ask the finger", and "don't doubt the finger!". It's like my little morse code line to God. One thing I would emphasize, is to center your awareness in your heart, feel centered and grounded before asking any questions. I know when I have a good connection because there is a sense of bliss in the heart. Also, at the beginning and end of each session, make an intention that everybody be well and happy

[Zen Benefiel]

I actually got to the point where I longed for the [paranormal] experiences as though they were a necessary part of the happiness I felt in my life. I must confess my home life was fairly ideal, with parents who really cared about my well being and happiness. As adoptive parents, they truly wanted to be the best parents they could be. By the time I was 18, in spite of my experimentations I'd graduated 10th in my class of 300+ and was preparing to enter the pre-med program at Ball State University. I'd tested out of 5 quarters through the CLEP tests, so I started as a 6th quarter sophomore. I was still a fairly cocky young kid, mostly because I'd already recognized my natural intellectual prowess and tended not to give it the full reverence it deserved, nor did I appreciate my natural athletic ability.

Rather than honor my cranial capacity, I played with it like a toy and fed it things that made it effervesce and tingle the sensory array I'd found. Inadvertently, it opened a lot of new doors just like Aldous Huxley proposed in 'Doors of Perception.' I was reading a lot on consciousness development from many perspectives at the time, being especially fond of Carlos Castaneda's work. Although I did experiment with various psychotropics with profound 'inner' experiences, they were not involved in my profound 'outer' experiences. 'What about the residuals?' you might ask. Did I have any flashbacks? Well I have to admit that is possible, although I don't think 'residuals' account for the continuing growth in awareness as an adult. Experiments in ESP or similar types of psychospiritual technologies go way beyond drug induced euphoria.

About midway through the first quarter I was reading about allies, guides, guardian angels, and such in one of Castaneda's books. I was in a contemplation/meditation one evening and found myself exploring the concepts more in depth. My mind was extremely active with questions, ponderings, and at times videos that seemed to combine my feelings and thoughts into an observable outpicturing. This particular night I asked if there was a guide or ally that I could speak with, what his name was, what he looked like, etc. because we are all supposed to have at least one, from what I'd researched and found in many sources. Well about a week later I was in another meditation, eyes closed and in deep in the release of thought, when the name Zephyr and an old Indian's face appeared in the center of my vision. His eyes were like coal, deep and piercing to the depths of my soul, yet warm and inviting to those willing to enter.

A few days later, I wrote 3 pages in what appeared to be something similar to Sanskrit while listening to George Harrison's 'Living in the Material World' album one afternoon. I heard a voice just prior to the writing that simply said, 'Pick up a pen and paper and write.' So I did. Initially I did not show it to anyone. I thought it might have had something to do with Zephyr so I spoke to another dorm mate that I knew was much more metaphysically gifted than myself, especially in the ability to communicate through automatic writing. Through this gifted friend, we were able to ascertain that Zephyr was from what is now the southwest US and lived nearly 30,000 years ago as a Priest/King of his civilization. I've lived in Arizona for over two decades as a result of my continuing inquiry.

Another couple of weeks passed and after my first quarter of attendance I returned home to ask my high school sweetheart to marry me. I had 'broken up' with her before going to school because I didn't want to violate my integrity (in my own mind) in case I became attracted to another girl. Yeah, well, teenagers don't have a lot of wisdom you know and the girls I met were only reminding me of my young love. In any case, I went to her house during quarter break specifically to ask her to marry me, only to find out that she was already married...in just 9 weeks. I was devastated and heart-broken, much as she probably was by my previous actions, only I didn't think about the consequences before I made my previous choice. Remember, teenagers don't have a lot of emotional wisdom yet. They have barely started to ask the right questions, let alone understand and apply the answers.

I returned to school with my whole life ahead of me and I felt like I had nothing to live for now. I hadn't explored what 'love' meant on those levels yet and the emotional attachment I had developed threw me for a loop when I had to detach. I went inside and withdrew from my emotional quagmire. I was silent for a time, even in the classroom, where I'm usually quite interactive and even outspoken. So, one evening I knelt in prayer and asked, "Heavenly Father, I want to know what TRUTH is and I am willing to die for it if necessary." It was a most intense prayer because I called out from the depths of the intensity within me. I don't really know if many go through this, especially at that age. As I found later, most people wait until their mid-40s to really begin this depth of search for connection with life. Strange as that may seem, the outer world has a profound affect on the development of the inner connections, or lack of them, due to the challenges and struggles involved.

The following week I returned to my dorm room from daily classes and was listening to Journey's first album, laying across my dorm room bed in a pseudo-meditative state. Yes, I'd had a couple of bong hits as well. I don't understand why as an adult now, we often feel embarrassed at our behavior as youth. I'm amused and confused at how honesty can keep us outside looking in, even as adults. During the third song on their album, In the Morning Day, there was a creative pause after the lyrics ended and a moment before the rest of the song's 'jam' was played out. I heard that familiar Voice say, "Bruce (my given adoptive name), are you willing to die for what you believe in?" Immediately the Voice had my attention and I thought for a moment about what I believed in strongly enough to give up my life. Jesus Christ was it... Christ Consciousness... Cosmic Consciousness... not as organized religion knows him... only as I knew CC to be much more than most comprehend. So I agreed..."Yes!" That took all of about a second. The whole exchange seemed to happen almost instantly. Replaying the song later and noticing the time in between the lyrics end and the rest of the tune made me realize that the experience was definitely 'out of time.'

Just as I said, "Yes," the music continued with a sound like a rocket ship taking off. Neal Schon is a fantastic guitarist. I felt myself being gently pulled out of my body or I wanted to leave and did (I couldn't really tell the difference) and so I let go and out I went, relaxing into the movement. I didn't feel threatened or fearful in any way. I looked back to see my body laying across my bed. I'd had many OBEs to date so I was familiar with the feeling of leaving, even quite comfortable with it. What I found when I turned back to look where I was going was absolutely awesome. I was totally engulfed in white light... feeling at home, warm, rather effervescent and serene...sublime in glory so to speak. The light was great and wonderful, full of that 'homey' feeling... albeit a bit boring after a few moments. There was no greeting committee, silhouettes or other voices.

I quickly established that I could think, hear, and see, so I knew that I was still very much 'alive' even in this new place that I'd only heard you go to when you die. It seemed to be only full of 'ME' at the time, although it was a much greater ME. I asked, "Is there more?" The 'Light' felt like it contained everything, yet there was 'nothing' for me to experience in that place. I felt another slight movement and found myself in the center of a sphere of pinpoints of light with an indigo background making the points stand out significantly. I could have counted them had I so desired, as there were only a few hundred, or so it appeared in this cosmic scenery.

I could see in any direction simultaneously without sensing any movement. As I pondered these points of light, I recognized that they were points of consciousness, whether in body or not I wasn't sure. I knew I sure wasn't at that time. Just as I made this recognition, the Voice resumed, "These are those that you are to work with in order to facilitate the new world order. It will happen in your lifetime. Know this to be true. Your path will be most difficult, full of trials and tribulations. You will succeed. Trust and have faith that everything you need will be there at the appropriate time. Trust and allow." At the finish of these words I felt another rush of energy, stronger than the other two movements, and found myself gasping for air - in my body once again. I kept my eyes closed for a few moments, totally enjoying the reintegration process as my body felt oh, so wonderful to me.

The feeling of being 'born again' was as great as the feeling in the white light had been. I opened my eyes and wondered what the f.. had just happened to me. I could only relate to the experience as it was... with everything that happened as REALITY... because it was. My mind became the insatiably curious one again, so I went to the campus library in search of empirical data... or something in writing that explained what I just went through. Even though I knew internally, in those depths of understanding beyond mental activity, I still needed the intellectual explanations to help me get a handle on some kind of congruent reality that I could live. What the heck was I supposed to do?

I told my adoptive parents soon after and found myself speaking with a psychiatrist a few days later. They thought I was 'on drugs,' and on 'acid' specifically. Sure, I 'had' been on many an occasion over the last few years, yet I almost wish that I had have been because it would have made it much easier to minimized the experience to some degree. As it was, I simply could not let it go. I suppose the reaction would be normal from people who had no direct experience from which to relate to my own. Just knowing that a person has taken a 'drug' leaves them open for suspicion of constructing a 'fantasy' reality in the eyes of many people. Fortunately, the psychiatrist had some esoteric knowledge and wisdom that allowed him to share some deeper understandings of life with me. My parents would have flipped had they known that he not only did not feel I was 'crazy,' he felt I was going through a 'spiritual awakening' as I had all the classic signs, according to him. What a blessing!

After several discussions and even a Tarot reading, he let me know that my best alternative at this time was to just keep my mouth shut. He advised me to calm my desire to share, especially with my adoptive parents who were frightened for my sanity and safety. At the time the shrink told me that most people do not go through an 'awakening' until their mid-40s, if ever, so to have such profound insights, philosophy or statements coming from an 18-year-old would tend to alienate people. It took me many years to understand his advice and the dynamics of what those few moments truly meant toward my life's mission in accord with the experience of being in the presence of God (or whatever you may call it). I now knew the purpose of my life. That was the easy part. I felt I also had to figure out just how it was all going to happen and what I needed to do to facilitate the process, as I had been told I would. I know from personal experience in raising children and working with adults that freely offering information or insight is not readily accepted unless one has asked specifically for it. I think Jesus called it 'throwing pearls before swine' figuratively. Nobody cares until they find the questions in themselves.

Living that purpose has indeed made my life full of trials and tribulations. According to the psychologist, most people never find out what their true life's purpose is, even in their 40s and beyond. Yet, at 18, I was informed of what my purpose for being here was all about. I didn't have to search for it. I just had to live it now. I wasn't concerned as to what that might mean as far as my own identity, future exposure, or how I would be perceived. Now that I'm a little older, I've had many more experiences that have led me down the path of discovery of Self and Identity, and I'm still a bit reluctant to accept the fullness of it, even though it is true beyond any reasonable doubt. What I remain focused on is not the identity... it is the Work. The 'mission' is the most important aspect of my life. To facilitate a new world order based on harmony among people and planet is indeed a life-long process, complete with attending trials and tribulations.

At least I have a plan and I am working toward its achievement, however slowly it may seem. That plan is in overview from elsewhere on our site under the Genesis Abstract link. Maybe it matters who I AM, maybe it doesn't. If it takes standing up and being identified as anything, then it is a small price for helping in bringing harmony to this beautiful world. Harmony is not without conflict although miscommunication, not understanding one another, is usually mislabeled 'conflict.' When one finds themselves in the middle of a messianic complex, they soon realize that it is not just about them or the 'knowledge' they may think they have to share. I've witnessed far too many battles of ego take place even in the metaphysical communities, but things do change.

Harmony is the result of the wise use of it [awareness and understanding] to empower people to work together and collaborate on socially responsible programs and environmentally sustainable living environments, including renewable energy resources. These concepts and ideas are nothing new to the consciousness of mankind. Learning to put down the weapons and use our arms for hugging instead is a giant leap from where we are today. Learning the TRUTH is what I've been doing since that conversation with [God]. It is about pure sharable energy sustained through our hearts, directed by our minds, and made visible through the actions of our bodies... and is a natural as the Sun's rays and photosynthesis. Quantum sciences are now proving just how large a playing field we have at our fingertips.

In fact, our Trinity is as three Suns... super-intellects of light that have created themselves into every atom as protons, neutrons, and electrons of tertiary consciousness in exquisite formations. This consciousness abides in our bodies as we understand the process of Divine Flow, aligning our infinite intelligence Source Within AND Without - inner and outer realities begin to converge. The symbiotic process of self-awareness and self-actualization involves understanding that each heartbeat is a compression and expansion of infinite resourcefulness. As we shine our light on the darkness within, illumination of the mysteries of God occurs and is true 'religion'... re-linking with God/Goddess. This internal consciousness (heart) plays with the silence between the notes, the stillness between each breath, the pause between each thought, the space between each particle of light, the Void- where in the depths of its silence the Voice of Being can be heard. The external consciousness (mind) plays with the process and purpose of the outer world's manifestations in the space of opportunity, the time and seasons, and is often unaware of the worlds within.

I've recently read of cosmic complexologists that are touting the theory of an 'anthropic' (life-friendly) universe, where a super intellect is revealing the process of a universe creating many baby universes. The same philosophy is found in the LDS Church oddly enough. I find it rather interesting that each person can literally create their own universe from birth, and has the cosmic connection within to do so when unimpeded by human-created constraints and dualities. Would that give rise to the philosophy of God/Goddess dwelling in man/woman? What do we do with ourselves then? Just what do sons and daughters of [creator] do when they grow up? How do they grow up? Can we embrace our child-like emotions along with the intellect to manage worlds?

[Realta]

...WOW!!All i can say to that - is "my point exactly"-